Categories
Emotional Health

5 Types Of Friends You Should Avoid Like The Plague

Here are 5 types of friends you should avoid at all cost!

I believe we are all special. We are all destined to be something. Too bad some people are destined to be douchebags!

Jokes aside, we are all unique and special human beings, and if you are like me, I believe we all have some purpose here to fulfil. But it doesn’t come to us in a dream. We all have to do things in the physical reality and discover it. Switch jobs, fail, be broken, be sad, be unhappy, be happy, be fulfilled… it’s not all rainbows and sunshine’s on the road to self-discovery.

As a matter of fact, the hardest and most frustrating things in my life were poverty, broken heart, sadness, grief… those moments of void and despair were crucial in creating the destiny I want to fulfill.

Of course, these emotions were born in me mostly by the relationships I had with my friends, family and partners. Everything that happened taught me a very valuable lesson, and as I said, mostly by the things that were making me feel worse.

Just by saying this, it doesn’t mean that we should aim to meet backstabbing friends and partners. All that happened until now was a lesson, no matter how emotionally striking it was.

From this moment on, we decide to make a swift and ultimate change. This is not only crucial change for personal gain, but for professional gain too! The change is very simple: toss out the people that don’t fit, and greet the people that fit. But how do we know who fits in our perfect picture?

Some say that we are the average of the 5 people we spend the most time with. If you take a closer look on your surrounding, the 5 people you spend the most time with is the mix that you are. Now, it doesn’t necessarily has to be 5 people because your parents, teachers and colleagues that have influence on you, but the biggest role play the people you are mostly with.

Taking a look around you should answer this question very easy. And it makes sense: why would spend most of your time with people who don’t have anything in common with you? You don’t.

When I personally hit the rock bottom financially and emotionally, I made enormous change in my life.

The first step I took was that I put myself in quarantine (before it was cool) and took a break from all the people I was surrounded with. This gave me new and fresh perspective on the things I had to change if I wanted to be in a better place in the future.

This may’ve been one of the most challenging steps I took. I was feeling like the loneliest person on the planet. Like the last man on Earth.

The seconds step was self-improvement, the dedication to improve myself on personal and professional level. In those “A-HA” moments when I spend all my time working and reading made me the person I am today: helping myself by helping you champs be better.

Without taking the first step, I wouldn’t be able to change myself by jumping straight to the second step. Because whether we like it or not, if those 5 people around you don’t aspire to be better, they will weight you down. There is no avoiding that.

Knowing all this, how do we know what types of friends to avoid?

Here are 5 types of friends you should avoid like the plague.

If any of the people below is in your list of friends, you should get rid of them in an instant:

1. The Envy

It’s completely normal to compete. That’s how we got so far up to this point in humanity. But competing and envying are 2 different things, and it took me 28 years to figure this out.

After the dreadful period when I hit rock bottom, I was dedicated to succeed. I was reading every self-improvement book that I put my hands on, just to be constantly motivated. Years after I made a huge chunk of money, but that came with consequences, especially from those around me.

Most people don’t like to see you doing better than them. When they can’t do anything to change that, they will openly (or secretly) envy your achievements. However, if you pay attention to their actions, it’s mostly visible, no matter how secret they think it is.

Now don’t get me wrong. What other people think is NONE of your concern, but if you share your personal time with those people, it’s a problem you have to solve.

You don’t want negative energy cloud above your head, right? Then it’s best to cut the cords with these types of friends and keep on growing personally and professionally.

Watch After: 9 Things You Should Delete From Your Life Immediately

2. The Pessimist (Definitely The Types of Friends You Should Avoid)

They say that a pessimist is an optimist with experience, but that is FAR away from the truth.

If we stumble upon 10 failed attempts and give up, then we are a failure, rather than an optimist with experience. Either we are doing something wrong, or we don’t have the experience to do the task successfully.

Now, some people never go over this point. They tend to look everything 100 times and find something wrong with it. It is really all about perspective. If you don’t have the perspective to see the good outcome of some deeds, then you will be a pessimist.

In 2010 Billionaire Mark Cuban turned down the opportunity to invest in Uber when it was worth only $2 million. He told that “it is high risk, medium reward,” investment.

I don’t say he is pessimist, far from that. But he didn’t have the perspective to look in the future with optimism and make a lot more money off his investment. I bet he learned the lesson.

But some people, especially those around you may never learn the lesson from failed attempts. If you throw a business idea, they don’t say that “it’s interesting”. They immediately say about the bad outcomes if all the bad things happen. This could be the same for any idea you might have. They simply have no positive compass for the future and they always find what’s wrong about it.

If you purposefully spend time with these types of people, it’s time to cut them and move on because these are the types of friends you should avoid.

3. The Gossip Star

All of the problems in the world would disappear if we talked to each other instead of talk about each other.

Ohhh… you already know for who is this about, right? His face is in front of you as we speak.

The golden rule about this is as follows: if your friend gossips with you about another friend, I can bet 100$ right now that they are gossiping with them about you. From all of the examples in my life, this is 100% true and it happened all over again.

Not only they may say false things about someone they have no idea about, but they will drag you down with them to speak ill and waste your time. Gossiping about other people has no benefit at ALL.

Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people. Do I need to say more?

If you surround yourself with people that gossip, then you are distancing yourself even further from the things that will make you truly happy and fulfilled.

I don’t need to remind you that you should avoid these types of friends.

4. The One Who’s Always Complaining

We all have at least one who always complains. There’s always traffic, there’s always something terrible happening on the workplace, there’s always something wrong with the weather. They hate Mondays and even waking up every morning. To them it feels like nothing is good in the world.

Complaining will never give solution to the problem. It only explains the problem, but doesn’t give solution to it.

If you have traffic, you can either start earlier, or take a different road. If something terrible happens in your workplace, you can either change your job, or try to solve the problem. And yes, the weather is the weather and you can’t change it. So start accepting the things you can’t change.

When you surround with Negative Nancies (sorry Nancy) we tend to see the worse perspective on things. If you remember, we already said that we are the average of the 5 people we spend the most time with. If you want to spend time with people who complain for each grain in the sand, then you are going to become one.

5. The Victim (Definitely the types of friends you should avoid)

Do you have that one person who always happens to be affected by the inevitable consequences? Yep, I have one too!

If there is one thing I’ve learned so far is that our life is the product of our own actions. If something bad happens and has nothing to do with our actions, then it’s time to learn the lesson and move on.

Life is not happening to us, life is happening for us. How we swallow the things and put the knowledge in the physical reality is how our life is going to unfold.

If you force yourself to think that everything bad happens because you exist, you are going to suffer through your entire existence.

The biggest power we possess as humans is the power of choice, and we have HUGE spectrum of choices today. If your choice is to surround yourself with people who feel like victims, don’t be surprised when you have victim mentality.

If you have these types of people in your close friend and even family, it’s time to pause and reflect, or minimize the time you spend with them.

Final Words

I cannot say that I am perfect. Sometimes, I feel like a victim, or sometimes I complain without being aware of that, but I am good at noticing when I do, because I know that either of those things won’t make me better human being.

I think that we can all grow with the right people around us. If you still haven’t found the right people, have the faith that you will. Your path will reveal great people who are even better than you, and give you the knowledge and skills to go beside them or even surpass them.

Don’t let your childhood memories keep you with people who stall your growth. Have the courage to move on and find better people who will push you to do better on personal and professional level.

Watch Now: Mentally Strong People Never Do These 6 Things

5 Types Of Friends You Should Avoid Like The Plague
Categories
Emotional Health Science & Psychology

How Stress Affects Your Body And Health According To Science

If you knew before how stress affects your body and health, you would never stress over trivial things, ever again!

Stress, stress, stress…. stress everywhere! As we set foot in the Information Age, our stress has increased tenfold.

In former times, 15.000 years ago, stress was mostly caused by something physical. People were under the pressure to find food and stay safe. In a way this is also mental stress, but the outcome is physical, and the stress is very different than the one today.

When you woke up this morning, you weren’t stressed about the food you are going to eat, nor about your safety of a lion attacking you on broad daylight. We now have so many choices of what we eat that the vast majority of choice is causing us stress. And yes, we now pay to see lions in cages!

Probably (and correct me if I am wrong) the first stress you had was a notification you received from your social platforms. Emails, Viber, Whatsapp, Facebook… you name it.

The stress we now have is mostly mental, rather than something that might happen in the physical reality. We have more made up stress caused by fear, rather than something that might put our life in real danger.

Mostly stress is caused by money, work and relationships. That is the global stress that vast majority of people fight over and over in their heads.

Now, I agree that these 3 things are really, REALLY important, but the stress is mostly caused by something that will never happen.

In the previous article, (that should pop right now in the right corner just above my head) looked into how many of the things we worry about turn out to be true in real life.

In the study, subjects were asked to write down their worries over an extended period of time and then identify which of the things they wrote down did not actually happen.

It turns out that 85 percent of what we worry about never happens, and with the 15 percent that does happen, 79 percent of people discovered that either:

a) they could handle the difficulty better than expected, or
b) the difficulty taught them a lesson worth learning

This means that 97 percent of what you worry over is just a fearful mind punishing you with exaggerations and misperceptions.

The stress we feel is just a made up story of something that will probably never happen in the future.

Now, don’t get me wrong. Some stress can be good, for example you pushing and motivating yourself to accomplish your goals and complete crucial tasks. But a lot of stress is bad, making you feel overwhelmed and ill. That’s because the negative effects of stress on immune function are significant.

How Stress Affects Your Body And Health

How Stress Affects Your Body And Health

No matter how many times we tell ourselves not to worry about trivial things, something always gets to us.

What happens is that we start creating endless loop of stories (that will probably never happen in real life) and then stress about the outcome of the fairy tales. This can cause serious health problems, according to science.

Think about your life. When life is good, life is not stressful, right? That’s because stress on your body and mind can press down your immune system. And why is that? Your body goes into overdrive so you can perform with full steam to tackle your stressors. This can cause the strength of your immunity to suffer.

So how stress affects your body?

The Basic Language of Stress

Learning some of the basics will give you a better understanding of your body’s natural responses. Here are the basics:

  • Stressor: Any stimulus that causes stress. There are two kinds of stressors: physical and psychological. Physical stressors are stress on the body. Psychological stressors are stress on the mind.
  • Hypothalamus: An important command center in the brain. This region is about the size of a penny and sits in the middle of the brain. It controls the activity of the pituitary gland and regulates hunger, thirst, sleep, body temperature, and many emotions.
  • Pituitary Gland: The master gland responsible for releasing most of the hormones in your body.
  • Adrenal Glands: Triangular glands that rest above the kidneys that are responsible for releasing cortisol.
  • Cortisol: The primary hormone released into the blood in response to stress.

How Your Body Handles Stressful “Situations”

How Stress Affects Your Body In Stressful "Situations"
How Stress Affects Your Body In Stressful “Situations”

Your body is a REALLY smart mechanism. It does miracles just to protect you from something that might hurt you. Like you pay attention to a strange looking fella next to you, your body pays attention to defend itself from external sources.

When you experience stress, your body has protocols. Without those protocols we wouldn’t be able to survive as species this long, especially when it comes to stress.

The protocol begins when a stressor comes along and puts pressure on your mind or your body.

The part of your brain that recognizes stress is called the hypothalamus. As soon as the hypothalamus recognizes a stressor, it delivers a swift message via neurons to a neighboring region of the brain called the pituitary gland. This gland registers signals from the hypothalamus and tells the adrenal glands ( just above your kidneys) to increase the amount of stress hormones circulating in the blood.

This is stress protocol 101, and the exact response pattern of your body every time it recognizes stress. But let’s go deeper and connect the dots between stress and immune function. It all boils down to your primary stress hormone—cortisol.

This crucial hormone does wonders by providing an energy boost during periods of stress. But the effects of cortisol are temporary. Once the stress wears off, so does the energy assistance.

Another way cortisol helps your body manage stress is by powering down any non-essential operations in the body. Unfortunately, stress hormone shuts down the immune system to conserve energy so it can run away from the threat, but this makes stressful periods the perfect time for germs to settle in.

This is so true and powerful that when surgeons transplant organs they give the patients stress hormones so they can lower their immune system. They do this because the body’s immune system may reject the new organ, and they lower it on purpose so the body can accept it.

Long story short, how stress affects your body is to your benefit, but not without consequences.

So what can we do to prevent stress from doing severe damage on our health?

Must Read After: How To Stop Worrying And Start Living, According To Science

How Can We Stop Stress From Doing Damage To Our Body And Health

How Can We Stop Stress From Doing Damage To Our Body And Health

What is happening today is that we are being fed with so much information spreading fear, especially with the global situation, that we are lowering our immune system on a global scale.

Just by knowing this fact we should pick the information we are fed very carefully and do everything we can in our power not to let our fear be fed by external factors.

Since information is the biggest cause of fear today, instead of real danger, we have 100% control of the things we stress about. After all, 85% of the things we stress and worry about NEVER HAPPEN, thanks to science confirming this.

Many of the serious health problems are psychosomatic, meaning that we are the main cause of the problem. External factors have big impact on our health, but we have the power of choice. We can literally be the hero we’ve been searching for.

I think the real problem is that we find it easier to point fingers and blame others as to why we fail. It’s easier to put our failure on his or her bill than to take full responsibility from the consequences of our actions.

If I tell you to do a backflip, and you end up hurting your leg, whos fault is it? Your fault, or mine?

It’s the same example with the major decisions. If your parents want you to be a doctor, and you hate every second of it, it’s not your parents fault if your life is miserable 10 years from now. Just like accepting the backflip was your decision, right? These are just examples. Don’t take them to heart.

As you grow you will be challenged with many things from external sources. Like your grandfather telling you to find a real job instead of the one on your computer, and you end up making 54.000$ one month. Or your friends talking behind your back about your “blogging” life.

If I look back and followed every advice from my friends and parents, I would’ve end up working a 9-5 job caged in a cubicle, miserable and unsatisfied with every second of my life. Don’t let someone else’s view on life affect how your life unfolds.

We all perceive life differently. The way you read this will affect you different than it will affect your brother, sister or friends. This means that no one can tell you how you can do something rather than yourself. Of course, they can give you an advice, but it’s up to you how you apply that advice in the physical reality. After all, I’ve learned the most valuable lessons from my failed attempts!

I think the real power is to take full responsibility over the things that affect our life. Only then we can truly learn the lesson and stop the same mistake from happening all over again like a loop.

Take precautions. Make yourself the main protagonist of your own life. And don’t forget how stress affects your body, because you can seriously harm your overall health and make irreversible damage.

How Stress Affects Your Body And Health According To Science
Categories
Action Emotional Health Science & Psychology Success

How To Stop Worrying And Start Living, According To Science

By the time you finish this article, you will have the scientific knowledge, backed by scientific research, on how to stop worrying, or at least to stop worrying about 85-97% of the things in your entire life.

Five hundred years ago, Michel de Montaigne said: “My life has been filled with terrible misfortune; most of which never happened.” Now there’s even a study that proves it. This study looked into how many of our made up stories never happen in the physical reality.

So How To Stop Worrying, According To Science?

A skeleton thinks how to stop worrying. Apparently it doesn’t work for him.

We worry way too often about each and every detail. Usually we worry about our diet, we worry about our health, we worry about making money, we worry about our physique, we worry if we are attractive or not, we worry about our partner, we worry about our parents and grandparents… we worry about each and every single thing we are unsure about.

Unlike the animals, we have the capacity to think about ourselves far into the future. Animals respond to life mostly on a moment-by-moment basis, but our ability to imagine the future allows us to behave in ways today that will have desired consequences later on. Now, don’t get me wrong, worrying is not all that bad. Self-awareness is essential for planning for the future, improving ourselves, and avoiding real danger in the future.

And yes, while thinking about the future is critical to our well-being, most of us think about the future far more than needed to manage our lives effectively. When we think too much about the future, we get distracted from our life in the present moment and what’s even worse, it fuels great deal of anxiety about things that will probably never happen tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, next week, year and even decades from the present moment.

While animals fear when they face real danger, they don’t worry about what might happen in the future, nor they read articles on how to stop worrying.

If all the things we worry about happen, and we are prepared for them, it would be an absolute blessing to worry. But on the other side, if all the things we worry about happen, that would be living in hell!

Most of the things we worry about never happen, and if they do, we can solve them a lot better than we thought we can. Worrying about future problems rarely gets us prepared when it’s time to take action in the physical reality.

Yet the question remains: if worrying doesn’t do much good, but more damage, why do we keep worrying? Why do we wrap around the anxiety blanket and keep on trying to predict the future? There’s a great theory predicting the answer of these questions.

“How To Stop Worrying” Didn’t Exist 10000 Years Ago

“How To Stop Worrying” Wasn’t A Topic Of Discussion 10000 Years Ago

Leonard Martin, social psychologist at the University of Georgia suggests a great theory tackling the answer to the questions above.

Martin speculates that self-generated worry about what might happen in the future became a problem in the last 10,000 years or so. Before then, our prehistoric ancestors were able to think about what might happen in the future, but their hunting-gathering lifestyle did not evoke a great deal of unnecessary rumination about the future.

For million of years, humans didn’t plan long-term to accumulate money, success, possessions, or simply self-improve themselves on personal and professional level. Our prehuman ancestors were focused on today, rather than weeks, months, or years ahead. Hunter-gatherers with little to no possessions at all didn’t plan for the future or long-term goals. They didn’t have a reason to think more than a day or two ahead.

But something happened that changed everything. When agricultural revolution or so-called Neolithic Revolution began 10.000 years ago, humans began to worry about the future. Unlike the hunter-gathers who mostly lived day-to-day lives, farmers must plan for planting, harvesting and storing the crops. Because so many things can ruin the crops, farmers began to think about the weather, pests, thieves, rodents and whatnot. Everything they can worry about just to protect their yield.

To make things worse, the new trend called “worrying” didn’t do much good to the farming community. No matter how well they planned or protected the crops from the predictable certainty, things like drought, infestation or even a stampede can destroy everything in a blink of an eye, leaving the farmers to starvation. No matter how many times they spent worrying and protecting the crops, everything could ramshackle like a house of card by things they couldn’t predict.

Many people say this transfer was crucial to humanity. For the first time we owned houses, supplies of food and livestock. Also, the agricultural era brought the division of labor and social roles. This in turn made us worry not only about our well-being, but the well-being of those who we depended upon.

If the theory by Leonard Martin is correct, the Neolithic Revolution brought a new set of psychological stresses because it switched from day-to-day living to worrying too much about things that could rarely be predicted.

Knowing This Is There A Way To Stop Worrying?!

Looking back 10000 years ago, we can hardly say things are getting better on the topic on how to stop worrying. Now we have a lot more things to worry about, especially since the introduction of The Information Age. We are being bombarded with so much information a day that it keeps us worried every minute of an hour. However, everything can be fixed if we have the right habits and tools, for which we’ll discuss at the end of this article.

Read After: 5 Things You Must Do To Uncover The Endless Potential That Is Slowly Dying In You

Montaigne’s quote that we mentioned in the beginning of this article made us laugh for five centuries, but worry is no joke.

The stressed caused by worrying generates serious health problems. The stress hormone that worrying throws into your brain is linked to heart disease, cancer, premature aging, family dysfunction, clinical depression, lowering your IQ, shrinking brain mass, and even making seniors more likely to develop dementia and Alzheimer’s.

Science tells us not to worry, and here’s the scientific research supporting my claim.

The study we mentioned in the beginning of this article, looked into how many of the things we worry about turn out to be true in real life.

In this study, subjects were asked to write down their worries over an extended period of time and then identify which of the things they wrote down did not actually happen.

It turns out that 85 percent of what subjects worried about never happened, and with the 15 percent that did happen, 79 percent of subjects discovered either:

a) could handle the difficulty better than expected, or
b) the difficulty taught them a lesson worth learning

This means that 97 percent of what you worry over is not much more than a fearful mind punishing you with exaggerations and misperceptions.

Now that you know this, STOP WORRYING! Easier said than done, right? How to stop worrying is better question.

Just by thinking to stop worrying is not going to help you much.

We have to implement habits and basically change ourselves ENTIRELY to stop worrying and start living better life filled with happiness and great moments.

Imagine the perfect YOU, the perfect self. Don’t save anything for later, just imagine everything you ever want to be and achieve.

Now here comes the catch: what I am about to say is mind-blowing!

To become the person you want to be, you have to change everything about yourself in this moment. Everything you “think” about has to be changed. Everything you “do” has to be changed. Long story short, you shouldn’t be the person that you are right now. If you were the person that you should’ve been, you would have all those things already, right?!

Change doesn’t happen overnight, just like there is no such a thing as overnight success. Change happens with mental and physical effort. You cannot wish for it and snap your finger. It doesn’t work that way.

Here are 3 practical tips you can implement right now and start changing your mentality from farmer to hunter-gatherer lifestyle.

1. Take a pen and piece of paper and start writing

“The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second-best time is now.” – Chinese Proverb

Ok, I have to admit. We are going to upgrade the hunter-gatherer lifestyle, since they didn’t have pen and paper, nor they planned for the future (stating the obvious).

Planning for the future is not the cause of worrying. Not knowing how the future unfolds is.

So here’s what we do. We take a pen and paper and start planning for the future.

I don’t personally know you, but I know that you, as all of us, have personal and professional goals that you want to attain.

There’s no precise guideline for this because what works for me might not work for you, but I will share my lookalike plan for the future on one of my goals.

YouTube Channel – I have 1M subscribers on YouTube by 202X year. I keep on publishing videos with enormous value without the need to get something in return.

My vision is making people’s lives better, and helping those who need help.

I publish at least 1 video a week and I will give my best in each and every video.

To be narrowed, I keep my channel strictly about self-improvement and I don’t steer clear of my vision at any cost.

I do research, assemble and write an article, and create that article in a YouTube video.

Here’s how one of my big goal looks like. Then I cut my big goal into smaller goals and do these things daily without skipping a single task.

For many people it works by only having one big goal, for example I will build a massive YouTube Channel by 2022. For me it works by cutting the big goals into smaller ones, and executing the same every day.

Once you start writing ideas will start flowing. Most of us are afraid to imagine and simply upgrade our capabilities to get that thing in the physical reality.

Start writing, have a clear plan about your future, and get to the next step, which is REALLY important.

Read Also: Mentally Strong People Never Do These 6 Things

2. Plan without action is just a wish

I don’t know if you noticed, but I never mentioned that “I will” do something in my plan. I wrote things down as I already do and own them. That way I don’t have space to wish. I give myself the pressure to do all that is necessary to have those things achieved.

After you create your plan on a piece of paper, you already have it in physical reality. It’s really important that you write your plan down, instead of typing it or remembering it, which is the worst type of planning.

When you write things out, you create spatial relations between each bit of information you’re recording. Handwriting activates parts of your brain involved in thinking and working memory, and allows you to store and manage information. The movement associated with the pen and your hand can help you encode and retain information long-term.

Since you have your plan ready, the next step is to start taking action. The difference between wishing and achieving something is your ability to execute your plan in real life.

There are many philosophies that will push you to take action, or things that will motivate you to get up on your a$s and start executing your plan. But here’s the trick: if you love what you do, if you have your plan written next to you, everything else is just an excuse. Taking action does not require you to solve math problems or unsolved mysteries. Taking action is a muscle, and you build it by pushing yourself to do more. Imagine wanting to bigger chest muscles. You will have to work out and push yourself to get those chest muscles pumped.

What we fail to realize is that we are not always going to feel happy about it. Just as I am writing this I was sick as f*ck. I have fever and I feel like throwing up any second, but you know what? No one gives a crap about that. I am going to write this article and finish it and if I need, I will end it by falling with my head on the keyboard. That’s how much I am dedicated to each bit of thing I do today.

You don’t have to go so harsh on yourself, but you do need to be harsh against your emotions. If you feel lazy or just not amused by your work, that’s just unacceptable. That’s the excuse you are making to avoid hardship.

It all boils down to the things you DO. Not the things you “think” you do, but the actual things you create in the physical reality.

Stop doing things because of others. Start beings selfish about yourself, especially when it comes to success. You are going to perish one day. As bad as it sounds, no one gets out alive anyway.

Is your current state your dream life, or you have a lot more to do to get there? If you don’t take action, your current state is going to get worse, because when we don’t improve we usually impair.

Final quote: “Take action! No one will do the work for you!”

3. Life is not a finish line. Life is a journey

Yes. I already said that things will end one day, so eventually life has to end, but that’s the mental oxymoron we are fighting. Why do we all have to think that everything has to have an end? Don’t keep on thinking that when you do “this” you will feel “that”. It just doesn’t work that way.

For example, most people think that when they have money they will be happy and solve all of their problems. I can tell you for a fact that if you work to make money just so you can be happy, then you are NEVER going to be happy when you(if you) make money.

This is because you tie your end goal (which is practically a finish line) to a thing that you hope will make you happy.

And then you keep asking yourself why you are worried. Of course you will be worried! You are chasing 75% cotton and 25% linen (that’s what the money is made of in the US) and hope they will make you happy! Where is the sense in that?

Yes, money can buy you freedom, pay your bills, and put food on your table. But money is not going to make you happy or fulfilled if you chase them for the sake of having them. You’ve got to have an endless vision, a journey behind your earnings. Otherwise they will burden you to the point where you are going to spend them just to be healthy again. You get my point?

Create goals from tiny, daily executions, that will allow you to climb to the medium and gigantic goals.

For example, by researching everyday, writing articles and filming YouTube videos I am going to build a YouTube Channel up to 1M subscribers in X years.

This sounds like a fairy tale now, but if I keep on doing it for X years, I will eventually get there.

However, if I don’t enjoy the journey, and if I do it only to get to 1M subscribers, although the chances are very low, I still might do it. But when I get there I will be more miserable than ever.

When you focus on the journey instead of the goal, you give yourself permission to be happy every second of the day. I am not saying you will be, because every grand goal requires you to go through tons of s*it, but you will hold the switch to end those undesirable emotions every second of the way.

So no, you life is not a sprint, your life is a marathon, and if you want to be happy and fulfilled most of the time, give yourself the permission to do so by going on a journey.

In these practical tips, we almost never mentioned how to stop worrying. I did that on purpose because by having a clear goal, followed by execution and going along a journey, you have nothing to worry about. You’ve had it all covered by yourself. You are no longer farming. You are gathering the fruits of your own creation.

How To Stop Worrying And Start Living, According To Science
Categories
Action Emotional Health

9 Things You Should Delete From Your Life Immediately

Some things take WAY too much of your energy and here are 9 things you should delete from your life immediately!

Long life is a short ride. Things happen so fast that we barely have the influence to change them. How we react to the changes, and the proactive choices that we make determines our future.

Many of us fall in emotional or physical traps. These traps prevent us from improving ourselves on personal and professional level. For example, if you focus on things that you don’t have, how will that turn out for you? Not so good, right?

However, there is a fix for these things, and it starts within ourselves.

Here are 9 things you should delete out of your life immediately:

1. DELETE FROM YOUR LIFE: WHAT YOU DON’T HAVE

Let’s expand what we just mentioned above.

Too many people focus on what they don’t have, right? I can even get myself caught in this trap too.

Bigger house, yacht, boats, exclusive vacations, more money… the list can go for days.

By focusing on things you don’t have you create a vortex for your energy. It is of vital importance to focus your energy on things you CAN do. No matter how small steps you take, each step will get you closer to the goal, even closer to the things you still don’t have.

Be grateful, truly grateful for what you have right now because what you have is SCIENCE FICTION for some people that don’t even have access to clean water.

2. DELETE FROM YOUR LIFE: FEAR OF FAILURE

Welcome failure, champs! Failure is the best teacher that will tutor you through life.

Too many people don’t do things because they are afraid to fail, and there can’t be growth without failure. Just like there can’t be happiness without sadness and joy without sorrow.

As a matter of fact, many people mistake fear with danger. The difference is pretty simple: if a lion charges at you, you have a real danger to be afraid. Many people confuse that it’s “dangerous” to go up on stage and speak, or ask some people for advice. Fear is just a made-up emotion we use to cave in and justify why we can’t do something.

3. DELETE FROM YOUR LIFE: SAFETY AND COMFORT

These things don’t exist. Period.

Yes, the feeling is warm and cozy when you wrap around a warm blanket at home. You can order whatever you want and you’ll get it on your doorstep in no time.

What we fail to realize is that one day we are going to die. If you are okay with dying without making big, positive impact to the world, your family and those around you, then risk-taking and excitement is not for you.

Must-Read: Nurse Revealed The Top 5 Regrets Of The Dying

4. DELETE FROM YOUR LIFE: TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS

Are you afraid of being alone? Let me break it to you: it’s x10 better to be alone then waste your time in toxic relationships.

This doesn’t include romantic relationships only. It includes friends, relatives and co-workers.

You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with. If you spend your time with 5 sh*tty friends, you will be the 6th.

Surround yourself with people that will support you. They don’t have to “adore” you and “compliment” you while they throw tons of s*it behind your back. Simply, they need to make you feel better when you leave their presence, not worse.

5. BEING AWARDED FOR EVERY TINY THING YOU DO

Don’t expect someone to tap your shoulder every time you do something. I was personally lonelier than a nomad! Seven years back, I started working online, completely alone! No one believed in me, people talked behind my back and my family was telling me to get a “real” job. If I waited for a tap on the shoulder, I would end up working 9-5 job that I hate.

Don’t let the support that you don’t receive make you forfeit from your dreams.

6. SHALLOW JUDGEMENTS

Everywhere I go people talk about other people. And what’s even worse is that those same people that gosip and FAR from perfect themselves. And when I say far I mean continents far!

Small minded people talk about other people, average minds discuss about events, and big minded people talk about ideas.

Don’t do it because everyone else does it. Change the conversation, start a positive narrative. Most people wouldn’t accept you because you don’t fill their empty mouth that feeds with shallow judgement. It’s okay to be alone for a while, until the right people gravitate in your life, and believe me… they will!

7. THE EXCUSES YOU HAVE BEEN FEEDING YOURSELF

People have a hard time accepting this, and you might be one of them too: you are the only one that should be blamed for your failures. Your childhood and your past do not define your future.

It is entirely true to say that we are carved by the events in our past, but it’s also true to say that your identity is ever changing! You have the wheel to steer your life in whatever direction you want.

If you focus on finding excuses instead of solutions, I will tell this straight to your face: you are going to end up as a failure and a miserable person.

Remember – when you point your finger at someone, there are 3 fingers pointing back at you.

8. THE END RESULT

I was stuck in this trap for a long time…

My previous mindset was that I thought that if I earned a number “say 12.000$ a month” that I made it! I can lie on the beach with an icy cold margarita next to me for the rest of my life. That was one of the biggest mistakes (and best teacher) that taught me that it’s very wrong to think in terms of end result.

Instead, we should acknowledge that what we do is never-ending! For people who chase comfort and safety this might be a little too much to handle, but I can assure you that if you see your life as a journey instead of an end goal, you will have an amazing shift of perspective for the better.

You won’t chase something that would end, but you would enjoy the course of events as they go.

9. PAST REGRETS

I read something the other day that really changed my life and you really need to pay attention to this: your past is your teacher, and it will never go away until you learn the lesson.

How mind-blowing is that!! I imagine this like an old person looking down at me repeats a sentence that I should engrave in my mind.

My mother passed away when I was 18 years old and that moment was really haunting me for a long time.

Fast forward years later, I finally realized that I am truly grateful to her for making me the person that I am today and that part of her will never die. It took me 10 years to finally realize that, and I feel so much relieved ever since. I only have gratefulness and appreciation for making me this stubborn dude that never wants to give up.

Don’t avoid your past, but look right through your painful memories and truly, from the bottom of your heart, try to learn the lesson that will help you out in the present and future.

I don’t want to remind you again, but if you are healthy and have a roof over your head, you are way ahead of most people in the entire world. Do not miss a single day appreciating that.

Read After: Mentally Strong People Never Do These 6 Things

Some things take WAY too much of your energy and here are 9 things you should delete from your life immediately (pay attention to #9)
Categories
Emotional Health

Kim Ung-yong, The Man With the Highest IQ Has a Powerful Message That Will Change The Way You Think

Yep, geniuses are born these days too! I even think that today, more than ever, we have the highest number of geniuses being born every year, but it’s not wrong to say that today we have school systems that are dumbing us down and prevent us from flourishing, even as an ordinary human being with normal IQ.

One genius (since he wore diapers) broke the chains and raised above the systems. Kim Ung-Yong is a South Korean civil engineer that displayed astonishing level of intelligence shortly after his birth, March 8, 1962.

He was also listed in the Guinness Book of World Records as the man with the “Highest IQ.” What’s even more genius than the man himself is the thing that he shared with the world about the key to happiness. He told us what really matters…

WHO IS KIM UNG-YONG?

Kim Ung-Yong was born in Gangneung, Gangwon, South Korea. He started speaking when he was 6 months old and was able to read Korean, Japanese, English, German and many other languages by his second birthday. By the time he was four, his father claimed that his son Kim Ung-Yong had memorized about 2000 words in both English and German. He was writing poetry in Korean and Chinese, and wrote two short books of essays and poems (less than 20 pages).

At age four, he scored over 200 on an IQ test normally given to seven-year-olds.

Read After: Psychologists Reveal: Apply This 2-hour Rule and Your Life Will Change 180°

Kim Ung-Yong mastered algebra at a very early age.

Geniuses cannot go unseen. That’s exactly why NASA took Kim Ung-yong under their wings at the age of 8. In the beginning he was learning the rookie stuff, but in 1974 he began working alongside with the most brilliant minds. He spent almost a decade at NASA.

When you feel something isn’t right, it usually isn’t. This is what happened to Kim Ung-yong at NASA. He pushed himself to the limit year after year, and yet he felt emptier than ever. He felt void consumed by working the “robotic life” as he called it. “At that time, I led my life like a machine – I woke up, solved the daily assigned equation, ate, slept, and so forth. I really didn’t know what I was doing, and I was lonely and had no friends,” he says.

At the age of 16 in 1978 he went back to South Korea. People, no different than any majority around the globe, started calling him “a defective genius.” After receiving criticism from the public, he decided to continue his education at a local university.

As of 2007 he served as adjunct faculty at Chungbuk National University. In March 14, 2014, he became associate professor in Shinhan University, and became vice president of North Kyeong-gi Development Research Center.

WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO HAVE A HIGH IQ?

People often talk about very high IQ scores, often referred to as genius IQ scores, but what exactly do these numbers mean and how do they stack up?

A Breakdown of IQ Scores

The average score on an IQ test is 100. These labels are often given for IQ scores:

  • 1 to 24: Profound mental disability
  • 25 to 39: Severe mental disability
  • 40 to 54: Moderate mental disability
  • 55 to 69: Mild mental disability
  • 70 to 84: Borderline mental disability
  • 85 to 114: Average intelligence
  • 115 to 129: Above average or bright
  • 130 to 144: Moderately gifted
  • 145 to 159: Highly gifted
  • 160 to 179: Exceptionally gifted
  • 180 and up: Profoundly gifted

IQ tests use a standardized scale with 100 as the median score. On most tests, a score between 90 and 110, or the median plus or minus 10, indicates average intelligence. A score above 130 indicates exceptional intelligence and a score below 70 may indicate mental retardation.

Simply put, IQ tests are designed to measure your general ability to solve problems and understand concepts. This includes reasoning ability, problem-solving ability, ability to perceive relationships between things and ability to store and retrieve information. IQ tests measure this general intellectual ability in a number of different ways.

BEING SPECIAL IS NOT AS IMPORTANT AS LIVING AN ORDINARY LIFE

For Kim, having IQ was not always a gift. He missed many ordinary things in his childhood. Without human relationship, Kim says “that’s no life at all.”

“People always try to be somebody special by neglecting their ordinary happiness. But they should know happiness means ordinary things that we take for granted, such as nourishing friendships, sharing memorable moments with friends at school and so on…I couldn’t have these things even if I wanted to. This is why I know that what I’m saying is important,” Kim said.

Kim’s message is loud and clear: “Being special is not as important as living an ordinary life.”

Kim Ung-yong, The Man With the Highest IQ Has a Powerful Message That Will Change The Way You Think
Categories
Action Emotional Health

Mentally Strong People Never Do These 6 Things

No, mentally strong people don’t have big biceps or pretty, sharp face. Mentally strong person can be 130 pounds man with a resilience of an ant. It can also be a 110 pound woman that is quieter than the anechoic chamber at Orfield Laboratories in Minneapolis.

With so much information out there, sometimes it looks unbearable. Worldwide pandemic is soaring while they’re bombarding us with “second wave” pandemic this winter. Parents are getting fired and families are starving. There is so much going on that we can’t even begin to think positive about something.

However, let me break it all to you. A single person has the power to change the entire world. The willingness and desire we have can pierce through mountains and make create new roads when they don’t exist. We can pave the jungles, beat the unbeatable and create things that don’t exist! Each and every one of these things were made by mentally strong people who refused to back down.

If Thomas Edison said f*ck it and threw the project for the light bulb in his first failed attempt, we would still light up candles in the night. He had over 1.000 failed attempts to invent the light bulb. Can you even imagine?! We don’t even have the patience to count to 1.000!

Whenever you are on the brick to giving up, just remember that mentally strong people would never do these 6 things:

Mentally Strong People Never Do These 6 Things
Whenever you are on the brick to giving up, just remember that mentally strong people would never do these 6 things. Photo by Noah Buscher on Unsplash

1. MENTALLY STRONG PEOPLE DON’T FOCUS ON THE NEGATIVE

Yes, every sane person would say that things are not going well around the globe, especially after the pandemic at the beginning of this year. But if you are healthy and breathing, sitting on your phone or PC, you have a lot more than most people!

Things can be a lot worse then they are right now for you as individual and for the world in general. If you just Google the deadliest world events, you will be realize of how lucky you are right now.

As humans, we have the tendency to think negative and find what’s not right about our situation in this exact moment. That’s not necessarily bad because we are naturally pushing ourselves to take action and improve. But I’ve come with a solution that can make you think positive and push yourself to do better. I strongly suggest you to read this article after this one and answer the self-reflection questions I have posted there.

2. MENTALLY STRONG PEOPLE DON’T COMPARE WITH THINGS AND PEOPLE

You can really explain this with a single phrase: don’t do it, it’s a one way street.

Every time you compare yourself to others, you waste precious energy focusing on other peoples’ lives rather than your own. Comparisons often result in resentment towards others and ourselves. Comparisons deprive us of joy.

When you put your mind on other person, you deplete yourself of the energy that can help you improve yourself on personal and professional level.

Comparing is often materialistic and yes, while it’s better to cry in a Ferrari, materialistic things cannot make you happy. Period. Studies even confirm it.

The pursuit and purchase of physical possessions will never fully satisfy our desire for happiness. It may result in temporary joy for some people, but the happiness found in buying a new item rarely lasts longer than a few days. Researchers even have a phrase for this temporary fulfillment: retail therapy.

3. MENTALLY STRONG PEOPLE DON’T LISTEN TO EVERYONE

It’s been few months since my grandfather died, but I will always remember what he said one day. He rushed in my room, looked at my PC when I was struggling to write or fix something on my website and told me: nephew, you have to go out and find a job. You should stop playing these games all day. I laughed the crap out of me that day because I kind of realized that people around me, especially older relatives, will never appreciate what I do. Well, not until I brought 54.000$ at home one month (which I explain how in my VIP Hall Pass membership and my course).

I used to struggle for 2 years not knowing if I was going to make a buck or not. Friends were talking behind my back, my family was against each bit of what I did but I never, not once, gave up on my dream.

The reason why I am saying this is because I know that you can do whatever you want to do, as long as you have burning desire and resilience to do it.

People will always be against you, especially in the beginning. Do not let this ruin your process and make you wave your white flag.

4. THEY DON’T WASTE ENERGY ON THINGS THEY CAN’T CONTROL

Seriously, today the world is so volatile that you can barely control global things. If your business was physical, you’d be broke after what happened with the world this year.

Every regular Joe would bump his head in the wall, but not mentally strong people.

We really have 2 options available: either cry and find excuses why bad things only happen to us, or adapt to the situation and even improve a lot more than before.

When you really think about your life, you can be struck by very great and on the contrary, horrible things, but how you act upon those changes will determine the outcome of your life.

5. THEY DON’T GET STUCK IN THE PAST

I read something the other day that really changed my life and you really need to pay attention to this: your past is your teacher, and it will never go away until you learn the lesson.

How mind-blowing is that!! I really see it like an old person above my head repeating a sentence that I should engrave in my mind.

My mother passed away when I was 18 years old and that moment was really haunting me for a long time.

Fast forward years later, I finally realized that I am truly grateful to her for making me the person that I am today and that part of her will never die. It took me 10 years to finally realize that, and I feel so much relieved ever since. I only have gratefulness and appreciation for making me this stubborn dude that never wants to give up.

Don’t avoid your past, but look right through your painful memories and truly, from the bottom of your heart, try to learn the lesson that will help you out in the present and future.

I don’t want to remind you again, but if you are healthy and have a roof over your head, you are way ahead of most people in the entire world. Do not miss a single day appreciating that.

6. THEY ARE NOT AFRAID TO BREAK THE OLD PATTERN

I think this is the MOST important step of all, and I put it last because I want you to self-reflect on all 6 things after this.

Major changes require drastic measures. I know that there is a thing right now that you don’t like about your life. Just take a second and think about that. I am not going anywhere.

Okay, now that you know what’s the thing that doesn’t fit in your life, now brainstorm ideas that will help you change that thing. Let me help you out.

The people that you surround yourself with have A LOT to do with how your life will untangle. You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with. If you are surrounded with negative and pessimistic people, do not expect you to be any different.

I would highly suggest you to change your environment. For me it worked by putting myself in quarantine 7 years ago (before it was cool) and separating from all the negativity around me. By avoiding most contact with people helped me realize who I was. Drastic changes were made and stunning outcomes were created.

FINAL WORDS:

No matter your circumstance or situation, the way you react on things defines you as an individual. Remember: not the things that happen to you, but how you act upon the things that happen to you.

If you like this article, it would mean the world to me if you can LIKE IT, SHARE IT, and Spread It Out there with the world!

Mentally Strong People Never Do These 6 Things
Categories
Action Emotional Health

Toxic Positivity: Why Being Positive All The Time Can Break And Destroy You

In this moment I can think of a very devastating and shocking situation that changed the entire course of my life: the death of my mother.

I remember the frustration, sadness and emptiness I felt when I heard the dreadful news. She had cancer in the 4th stage and it was expected, but when you are 18 years old you just cannot accept that. You feel like the world is unfair to just people.

When she passed away, I got a lot of messages from people sending thoughts and prayers, but very few just didn’t seem like they were in place. One particular message really got me pissed. It was “keep it positive, things will be better.” I was pissed almost instantly. There is no way someone thinks that I will be positive after what happened. Do they even realize what just happened?! I didn’t feel better. I felt worse. This is what I call toxic positivity.

Here are some examples of toxic positivity:

  • Feeling bad, guilty, or shameful for how you feel.
  • Putting on a “mask” to the world when you feel completely different inside.
  • Ignoring, hiding, downplaying, or dismissing your emotions or real feelings.
  • Pretending everything is okay when it’s not.
  • Minimizing others’ emotions.
  • Shaming people for having negative emotions.
  • Invalidating someone’s experience by not acknowledging the real issue/pain/frustration.

I am a firm believer in positive psychology and all the perks and benefits from it, but sometimes being positive is not the answer. As a matter of fact, it can ruin and destroy your mood more than it already is.

I can credit positive psychology for taking me in this place that I am right now, or looking at the things a lot better than they were before they even happened.

However, positivity is not going to cure it all.

Optimism is not helpful when it makes people feel guilt, shame, or invalidated in a way.

Positivity is not positive when it invalidates, denies, or minimizes authentic human emotions.

Stoicism is not brave or courageous when it forces you to stuff down your real, true emotions and be inauthentic with what you really feel.

Perspective is not supportive when it marginalizes your experience.

This pandemic is making a huge changes to human experience over the world. We need to separate, limit and divide the connection between us. I really feel like the source of humanity is being taken away and I am not blaming anyone for this. We are doing this to protect ourselves.

Not to mention that millions of people were left without jobs, many families cannot feed their newborns. I cannot say “how” this situation occurred and who f*cked up the entire world, but things are not positive right now. Positivity will not find the cure or stop the worldwide pandemic. Here’s what’s going to stop it.

Your emotions are call to action

My perspective was changed in an instant! How would you handle your emotion if you knew that they are your calls to action?! If you are depressed, it means that you should take a course of action and feel better. If you are bored you’re probably lying in bed and watching Netflix for 5 hours, and you need to stand up and do something to feel better.

However, saying it so lightly cannot really make a change, right? Depressed people cannot find the motivation to stand up and do something. They get way too deep in the nothingness until their life simply makes no sense. So here’s an example that always helps me:

When I feel like I’m getting frustrated, obstructed or simply bored, I move! Yes, I simply move. I walk for 15 minutes, I do jumping jacks for 2 minutes or just run in place. This may seem like a strange thing to do, but I get out of those undesirable emotions immediately! Even if I don’t want to, I still do it, no matter how unmotivated I feel in that moment. I know that after only few minutes I’ll feel better.

Humans are creatures of movement. Just look at our history: hunters, gatherers, warriors, and soldiers. We have evolved to move and the rise of technology is slowly taking that away from us. Now, technology is inevitable, and people will be even more sedentary in the next few years, but no one can take our desire to move and exercise.

The reason why I am saying all of this is because taking action is the cure. Being positive is a great thing in most situations, don’t get me wrong. But being positive all the time is bullsh*t. As a matter of fact, I made a video about this topic:

Bottom Line:

Champs, be truly happy that we have this freedom right now. Thousands of years ago, every day was a struggle to survive. What we have now cannot be paid with a thousand castles long time ago. The comfort and freedom is way too much. Don’t take that for granted and don’t avoid moving your body – the only temple that you have.

Most of all, listen to your emotions and take action. Don’t be blindly positive because it can truly cause harm in the wrong state of mind.

If you think this article can help someone, please SHARE it with your Friends and Family!

Psychologists Reveal Apply This 2-hour Rule and Your Life Will Change 180°
Categories
Emotional Health Science & Psychology

Psychologists Reveal: Apply This 2-hour Rule and Your Life Will Change 180°

Throughout history, many individuals made a big difference in this world.

  • Mother Teresa – Charity worker who devoted life to serving the poor and destitute.
  • Charles Darwin – Credited with theory of evolution and natural selection.
  • Galileo Galilei – Scientist who made discoveries about the galaxy and stuck to his principles.
  • Albert Einstein – Scientist and peace advocate.
  • Dalai Lama – Spiritual leader of the Tibetans, helped popularise principles of Buddhism.

The list can go for miles, but let’s focus on what these people had in common to make that worldwide difference? Why are they different than us?

According to psychologists “Reflective Thinking” is one of the pillars of self-improvement, and that’s exactly what these people in the list above had in them that makes a distinction from the rest.

Psychologists Reveal: Apply This 2-hour Rule and Your Life Will Change 180°
Psychologists Reveal: Apply This 2-hour Rule and Your Life Will Change 180° Image source: MaxPixel

WHAT IS REFLECTIVE THINKING?

When things don’t turn out as we expected, or as we famously say “when the sh*t hits the fan” what’s the course of action that we take? The truth is that most people will easily find thousands of excuses instead of looking for solutions.

The secret of reflective thinking is looking the solution in you instead of looking it outside of you – in external factors.

I know that many will say that self-focus can be narcissistic and destructive force for us, but that’s not the case. As a matter of fact, psychological research shows that it is a critical component of positive change in life. A variety of theories on self-regulation emphasize that change requires two things: a goal, and an awareness of where ‘one’ currently is in order to assess the discrepancy between the two.

The conclusion is that if you don’t know where you are going, you’ll end up nowhere.

Reflective thinking offers solution through your eyes and perception.

THE 2-HOUR RULE

According to some experts, the 2 hour rule might be the solution to every problem.

Two hours might seem like a long span of time, but if you separate 2 hours a week, more or less you’ll have only 15-20 minutes a day.

So here’s how you perform it: when you get back home from work, remove all distractions. When I say all, I mean everything, including phones, tablets and noises. For this awesome exercise, you’ll need a pen and a paper.

Here are a few questions Zat Rana reflect on:

  • Am I excited to be doing what I’m doing or am I in aimless motion?
  • Are the trade-offs between work and my relationships well-balanced?
  • How can I speed up the process from where I am to where I want to go?
  • What big opportunities am I not pursuing that I potentially could?
  • What’s a small thing that will produce a disproportionate impact?
  • What could probably go wrong in the next 6 months of my life?

Zat Rana states on Business Insider:

“I can quite honestly say that this is the highest return activity in my life. It forces me to balance the short-term with the long-term. I catch problem before they become problems, and I’ve stumbled onto efficiencies and ideas that I wouldn’t have come across otherwise.

Interestingly enough, much of the value doesn’t come out of the routine questions, but from the time I have left after I run out of things to think about. It’s when I let my mind wander.

I’m not one for easy one-size-fits-all solutions, but this is an idea that I think can serve a lot of people well. We all think, of course, but not all of us do so deliberately and without distractions and guilt.

There is immense value in leaving time for that.”

BOTTOM LINE

If you are honest, how many trivial things did you do today, yesterday, and the week before that? If an average person spends 2 hours and 22 minutes a day on social networking, taking out 15-20 minutes a day to solve the biggest problems in your life is not much of an ask, right?!

Trust me. If you try this, solutions will flow like never before. Also, make sure that you write everything in the notebook (or paper) because once you have your thoughts in writing, magical things can happen! Just try this and see for yourself!

If you think this article can help someone, please SHARE it with your Friends and Family!

Psychologists Reveal: Apply This 2-hour Rule and Your Life Will Change 180°
Categories
Action Emotional Health Science & Psychology Success

World’s Leading Psychiatrist Reveals The Top 22 Tips To Shift Your Life Upside Down

Throughout history, many individuals were able to change the entire course of development. People were influenced, countries were changed and even the world as we know it, thanks to some of the greatest minds of our time. Their ideas were revolutionary, influencing the entire world along with the leaders that controlled it.

One of the greats, is believed to be the Russian psychotherapist, psychologist and author Michail Litvak. Writing a total of 30 books on the topic of popular and practical psychology throughout the course of his career, totaling over 5 million books in circulation, along with a large number of scientific articles on important topics in the psychotherapy and psychology fields, Litvak has influenced experts around the globe.

One of his theories focused on relationships, conflict and conflict resolution was called ‘Psychological Aikido.’ This specific technique focused on providing its practitioners with a number of principles and rules to consider in every situation of human interaction, empowering them to better handle situations of conflict head-on should they arise.

People were influenced, countries were changed and even the world as we know it, thanks to some of the greatest minds of our time.
World’s Leading Psychiatrist Reveals The Top 22 Tips To Shift Your Life Upside Down

We’ve taken out the most important tips shift your life from this outstanding individual:

1. If all your actions are well planned, happiness will naturally follow.

2. Learn to live for yourself. Otherwise, you’ll always be trying to prove yourself to others, and you will be living for them.

3. You can never please every single person. And if you don’t stop trying, then you are preparing yourself for huge failure.

4. Both immature and mature people have knowledge. But for those who are immature, the application of this knowledge is not easy whereas the mature person utilizes it and converts it into action. This is the reason the former cannot do anything much, other than criticizing everyone else.

5. Nobody discards people. It is just that not everyone moves at the same pace and some move ahead sooner.

You will also like: Your Life Will Change 180° If You Let Go Of These 20 Mental Barriers

6. If you want to daydream, fantasize about things which are realistic and goals which can be achieved. This way you will not lose your drive.

7. Instead of spending your time with a shallow person in the name of company, invest it in a book. It will be more entertaining as well.

8. Someone who can’t praise themselves will inevitably start criticizing others. And this is when they have nothing much to talk about.

9. The idea that there is a difference between male logic and female logic is illogical in itself. You are either wise or you’re not.

10. If people try to make you feel guilty or grateful for their help, it is better that you pay them off for their services and let them go.

11. Someone who is really happy within himself wouldn’t find it necessary that others should think really good about him or her too.

12. Your biggest enemy is not someone lurking in the shadows, waiting for you to slip up. Your biggest enemy is you and facing this enemy can be really tough.

13. If you really have an uncontrollable urge to dig into things, dig into the details of philosophy or science, not into each other’s back.

14. Do not pay attention to insults and criticisms. The day you finally achieve your goals, none of the rest would matter.

15. If you really crave something in life, don’t wait around and definitely don’t ask for permission to have it. Rather try to become the one who can control this thing.

16. Happiness is not something that you chase after. It will not be found hidden in the great outdoors’ nook and cranny. It comes from deep within you and can only be achieved when you learn contentment.

17. Talking to your friends is a good thing no doubt. But when you talk with those who are your enemies, you learn so many new things. Your own shortcomings are just a few of the things. It is rather better to listen to your enemies, than friends.

18. Depression is bad, and frightful and hard. But it is also an opportunity to look deep within yourself. And find out what are the things that have been driving you forward or turning away.

19. If you are in a relationship, be it that of romantic inclination, or a business partnership, you should never break it off, unless you feel that your own growth has been suffocating and not able to take off when you were part of the said relationship.

20. When you try to talk to someone, don’t be afraid, they might actually think favorably of you.

21. If you are alone, especially if you face loneliness after love, it means you are mature and grown spiritually. Also, being alone sort of enhances our productivity.

22. Never be too selfish of your own happiness. When you share it with your friends it enhances your happiness by making them happy. When you share it with your rivals, they just have to deal with the idea that you are better than them.

People were influenced, countries were changed and even the world as we know it, thanks to some of the greatest minds of our time.
Categories
Emotional Health Science & Psychology

Psychologists Reveal How To Remain Calm During Any Argument Or Conflict

Learning how to remain calm during any argument can be easily said than done, but practice makes it perfect.

Emotional intelligence can help you handle your emotions while the lack of emotional intelligence can make you easily irritated, eruptive and unable to be calm during heated arguments.

Let’s face it: we cannot avoid conflict. Whether it’s one with our wife, husbands, kids, friends or coworkers, conflict cannot be avoided. However, being calm during conflict or argument can be controlled. How we react to those situations will determine the emotional state we’ll be in.

At the exact moment when you notice that you’re being part of an argument, here are steps that you can take to stay calm and be in control of the situation:

How To Remain Calm During Any Argument Or Conflict:

1. Remain Calm During Any Argument By Taking Deep Breaths

How To Remain Calm During Any Argument Or Conflict:

Shallow breathing is the body’s response to stress. To break this pattern, take a deep breath and take full control over the body. This will signal your brain that you are “not” in an argument which will give you full control over the situation. Your judgement is not clouded by stress, anger and short temper.

Inhale for 5 seconds and exhale for 7 seconds. This will keep you in control from saying things you may regret for the rest of your life.

2. Be Mindful About Your Body

How To Remain Calm During Any Argument Or Conflict:

Muscle stiffness is often triggered by stress. Stress can adversely affect your body’s nervous system — including your nerves — and how they function. Your nervous system may respond to stress by putting additional pressure on the blood vessels, which results in reduced blood flow to the muscles.

By focusing on your body, relaxing your shoulders and hands, you signal the brain that you have full control over the situation. In turn, this will make you calmer and make better judgement over the situation.

Read After: Your Life Will Change 180° If You Let Go Of These 20 Mental Barriers

3. Remain Calm During Any Argument By Actively Listening

Many conflicts or arguments arise because one person wasn’t heard or listened to before. This being said it’s impossible to diffuse an argument without listening.

Start to listen actively so you can make better judgement about the factual reason behind the argument or conflict.

4. Ask Open-ended Questions

How To Remain Calm During Any Argument Or Conflict:

A simple question can solve the entire conflict. Open-ended questions are invaluable. First, because that you actively listen, and second it means that you show interest that you’re trying to solve the argument.

The easiest way to avoid asking “yes or no” questions is not to use the words “do, don’t, did and didn’t” when asking a question. Instead, use the words “what, why, when and how.” The right questions can solve the argument in an instant.

5. Keep Your Voice Down

How To Remain Calm During Any Argument Or Conflict:

The moment you start an argument is the moment you raise your voice. On the flip side, this means that if you lower your voice down, you can easily avoid getting in the middle of a heated conflict or argument.

The point is to press down the anger of the other person. You can’t do this by raising your voice. However, you can instantly diffuse the initial anger by bringing both of your voices to a lower tone.

6. Agree To Disagree

Truth be told, some arguments cannot be solved with mutual benefit. You can avoid getting deep in the conflict by avoiding the whole conversation.

One of the law of interpersonal conflict is that it takes two participants. Disengaging from an argument is appropriate under one of two circumstances:

  1. the person becomes increasingly hostile, or
  2. the conversation, despite your best efforts, is not going anywhere

Unless you are in full control over your mind and body sometimes you will get angry in a conflict or argument. We are emotional beings, and we have triggers that can irritate us. However, by actively practicing these tips to stay calm during an argument, we can easily avoid things that we may regret for the rest of our lives.

Psychologists Reveal How To Remain Calm During Any Argument Or Conflict