Here are 5 types of friends you should avoid at all cost!
I believe we are all special. We are all destined to be something. Too bad some people are destined to be douchebags!
Jokes aside, we are all unique and special human beings, and if you are like me, I believe we all have some purpose here to fulfil. But it doesn’t come to us in a dream. We all have to do things in the physical reality and discover it. Switch jobs, fail, be broken, be sad, be unhappy, be happy, be fulfilled… it’s not all rainbows and sunshine’s on the road to self-discovery.
As a matter of fact, the hardest and most frustrating things in my life were poverty, broken heart, sadness, grief… those moments of void and despair were crucial in creating the destiny I want to fulfill.
Of course, these emotions were born in me mostly by the relationships I had with my friends, family and partners. Everything that happened taught me a very valuable lesson, and as I said, mostly by the things that were making me feel worse.
Just by saying this, it doesn’t mean that we should aim to meet backstabbing friends and partners. All that happened until now was a lesson, no matter how emotionally striking it was.
From this moment on, we decide to make a swift and ultimate change. This is not only crucial change for personal gain, but for professional gain too! The change is very simple: toss out the people that don’t fit, and greet the people that fit. But how do we know who fits in our perfect picture?
Some say that we are the average of the 5 people we spend the most time with. If you take a closer look on your surrounding, the 5 people you spend the most time with is the mix that you are. Now, it doesn’t necessarily has to be 5 people because your parents, teachers and colleagues that have influence on you, but the biggest role play the people you are mostly with.
Taking a look around you should answer this question very easy. And it makes sense: why would spend most of your time with people who don’t have anything in common with you? You don’t.
When I personally hit the rock bottom financially and emotionally, I made enormous change in my life.
The first step I took was that I put myself in quarantine (before it was cool) and took a break from all the people I was surrounded with. This gave me new and fresh perspective on the things I had to change if I wanted to be in a better place in the future.
This may’ve been one of the most challenging steps I took. I was feeling like the loneliest person on the planet. Like the last man on Earth.
The seconds step was self-improvement, the dedication to improve myself on personal and professional level. In those “A-HA” moments when I spend all my time working and reading made me the person I am today: helping myself by helping you champs be better.
Without taking the first step, I wouldn’t be able to change myself by jumping straight to the second step. Because whether we like it or not, if those 5 people around you don’t aspire to be better, they will weight you down. There is no avoiding that.
Knowing all this, how do we know what types of friends to avoid?
Here are 5 types of friends you should avoid like the plague.
If any of the people below is in your list of friends, you should get rid of them in an instant:
1. The Envy
It’s completely normal to compete. That’s how we got so far up to this point in humanity. But competing and envying are 2 different things, and it took me 28 years to figure this out.
After the dreadful period when I hit rock bottom, I was dedicated to succeed. I was reading every self-improvement book that I put my hands on, just to be constantly motivated. Years after I made a huge chunk of money, but that came with consequences, especially from those around me.
Most people don’t like to see you doing better than them. When they can’t do anything to change that, they will openly (or secretly) envy your achievements. However, if you pay attention to their actions, it’s mostly visible, no matter how secret they think it is.
Now don’t get me wrong. What other people think is NONE of your concern, but if you share your personal time with those people, it’s a problem you have to solve.
You don’t want negative energy cloud above your head, right? Then it’s best to cut the cords with these types of friends and keep on growing personally and professionally.
2. The Pessimist (Definitely The Types of Friends You Should Avoid)
They say that a pessimist is an optimist with experience, but that is FAR away from the truth.
If we stumble upon 10 failed attempts and give up, then we are a failure, rather than an optimist with experience. Either we are doing something wrong, or we don’t have the experience to do the task successfully.
Now, some people never go over this point. They tend to look everything 100 times and find something wrong with it. It is really all about perspective. If you don’t have the perspective to see the good outcome of some deeds, then you will be a pessimist.
In 2010 Billionaire Mark Cuban turned down the opportunity to invest in Uber when it was worth only $2 million. He told that “it is high risk, medium reward,” investment.
I don’t say he is pessimist, far from that. But he didn’t have the perspective to look in the future with optimism and make a lot more money off his investment. I bet he learned the lesson.
But some people, especially those around you may never learn the lesson from failed attempts. If you throw a business idea, they don’t say that “it’s interesting”. They immediately say about the bad outcomes if all the bad things happen. This could be the same for any idea you might have. They simply have no positive compass for the future and they always find what’s wrong about it.
If you purposefully spend time with these types of people, it’s time to cut them and move on because these are the types of friends you should avoid.
3. The Gossip Star
All of the problems in the world would disappear if we talked to each other instead of talk about each other.
Ohhh… you already know for who is this about, right? His face is in front of you as we speak.
The golden rule about this is as follows: if your friend gossips with you about another friend, I can bet 100$ right now that they are gossiping with them about you. From all of the examples in my life, this is 100% true and it happened all over again.
Not only they may say false things about someone they have no idea about, but they will drag you down with them to speak ill and waste your time. Gossiping about other people has no benefit at ALL.
Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people. Do I need to say more?
If you surround yourself with people that gossip, then you are distancing yourself even further from the things that will make you truly happy and fulfilled.
I don’t need to remind you that you should avoid these types of friends.
4. The One Who’s Always Complaining
We all have at least one who always complains. There’s always traffic, there’s always something terrible happening on the workplace, there’s always something wrong with the weather. They hate Mondays and even waking up every morning. To them it feels like nothing is good in the world.
Complaining will never give solution to the problem. It only explains the problem, but doesn’t give solution to it.
If you have traffic, you can either start earlier, or take a different road. If something terrible happens in your workplace, you can either change your job, or try to solve the problem. And yes, the weather is the weather and you can’t change it. So start accepting the things you can’t change.
When you surround with Negative Nancies (sorry Nancy) we tend to see the worse perspective on things. If you remember, we already said that we are the average of the 5 people we spend the most time with. If you want to spend time with people who complain for each grain in the sand, then you are going to become one.
5. The Victim (Definitely the types of friends you should avoid)
Do you have that one person who always happens to be affected by the inevitable consequences? Yep, I have one too!
If there is one thing I’ve learned so far is that our life is the product of our own actions. If something bad happens and has nothing to do with our actions, then it’s time to learn the lesson and move on.
Life is not happening to us, life is happening for us. How we swallow the things and put the knowledge in the physical reality is how our life is going to unfold.
If you force yourself to think that everything bad happens because you exist, you are going to suffer through your entire existence.
The biggest power we possess as humans is the power of choice, and we have HUGE spectrum of choices today. If your choice is to surround yourself with people who feel like victims, don’t be surprised when you have victim mentality.
If you have these types of people in your close friend and even family, it’s time to pause and reflect, or minimize the time you spend with them.
I cannot say that I am perfect. Sometimes, I feel like a victim, or sometimes I complain without being aware of that, but I am good at noticing when I do, because I know that either of those things won’t make me better human being.
I think that we can all grow with the right people around us. If you still haven’t found the right people, have the faith that you will. Your path will reveal great people who are even better than you, and give you the knowledge and skills to go beside them or even surpass them.
Don’t let your childhood memories keep you with people who stall your growth. Have the courage to move on and find better people who will push you to do better on personal and professional level.