Many people get triggered by motivation. You read that one quote that hits you right in the chest and you feel like you are going to rule the world. Two minutes later the motivation is gone like it was never there.
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Motivation is a great thing, but you can’t rely on those all of a sudden moments when you feel explosive energy for no reason whatsoever.
I’ve personally had terrible moments when I felt like the whole world is crushing down on me. The other day I was so happy and energized that I finished my YouTube video just to see that the recording on my phone was not set on. I had to re-do half of the video and when I finished it for the second time I noticed that someone called me in the middle of my second recording and canceled my recording time. In those moments, all the motivational and inspirational quotes won’t mean a thing to me. I had to re-do the video for the third time (on an airplane mode this time) and finally get it done.
When things are not going your way, motivation is like a can. You see it in the street, you kick it, and you forget about it in the next 2 seconds. So motivation is a great thing, but relying on motivation and hope you will go through the obstacles with ease is not a smart choice. And honestly, I think this is a major obstacle why most people can’t seem to complete a task to the end. They rely on motivation to be their partner in crime when in reality they seek for discipline.
Now discipline is the thing we all want, but can can’t seem to stick to it and this time we will dig, like really dig into discipline and explain why you can’t stay disciplined and how to fix it.
Discipline is the key to your success in everything
As I was explaining in the previous article, I was lacking perseverance when it came to relationship, work, or simply organizing a trip with my friends to another city.
I was really struggling to find it in me to push things to the end. Strangely enough, one of the things that really pushed me out of that comfort was taking stone cold shower. And while it looks like I was getting prepared for jail, what I really did was pushing myself to be more disciplined in the face of discomfort. Because what we lack is perseverance in the face of hardship. When you have to do the project and you have a deadline, you don’t search for inspirational quotes on google, or pray that motivation suddenly hits you. What you really do is sit on your computer and do the project. Motivation is that one friend that runs away and leaves you dry when things get uncomfortable.
But discipline is not something that can suddenly hit you, and you can’t find it on Goole, well maybe just the definition. But real discipline is more of an emotional battle. And what I really found strange was that discipline is way more connected with pain that most people realize.
If discipline is to obey rules or a code of behaviour, using punishment to correct disobedience, then what we really do is run away from pain or punishment. When you take our code of behaviour what we do is either chase some form of pleasure or run away from pain or fear.
This being said our discipline is our ability to follow our principles and punishing/rewarding ourselves if we don’t.
I’ve noticed that when I don’t do the tasks I have for the day, I usually get a little angry or frustrated because I know I am the one to blame for not using my time wisely. I use pain or frustration as my punishment for not being disciplined. And as strange as it sounds I just realized this!
There was a really good example when Tony Robbins took his kids accompanied by a police officer (a friend of his) to one of those creepy houses filled with homeless junkies. He showed his kid or kids (I don’t know if he was with one of his kids or both of them) what they are going to end like if they use drugs. They were so shocked by the scene they saw that they created an enormous fear of drugs. He knew exactly what he was doing and because of this, every time his kids see drugs they immediately recall the scene in that creepy house, even years after.
I was seeking ways to stay disciplined and found self-punishment to work really good for me and I think self-punishment is the key to many disciplined people.
However, these 2 factors really contribute to becoming disciplined person in the long run.
1. Awareness of SELF
We just started hosting on a radio show with my friend Danny on self-improvement, relationship, toxic people and everything related to creating the best self-aware version of ourselves. It’s called Life 2.0 but sadly it’s hosted in our language and not many people speak Macedonian.
The point is that whenever we speak, say, about toxic people we get comments like “wow I had no idea I was feeling so depressed because of my friends” or “I never knew that staying in toxic company can make me depressed”. Most people lack self-awareness. They really have no idea about them because they are focused on the external things. They waste their time reading about fashion or politics and they have no connection to politics, fashion, or the time when Tom Brady looked absolutely wasted during Bucs Super Bowl boat parade.
When I sat down to meditate I truly saw what kind of person I was. I had 0 insight about me before that. Like I was left on autopilot since the day I was born and I let everyone around me carve me into whatever they wanted.
When I sat down in those 10 minutes, I felt that I am really not the person I want to be. My mind was shifting between thoughts like crazy. I was like “wow I can’t believe he said that to me, and I always thought he was my friend, what if this week is Friday the 13th? Will they play that one movie they play every year with Jason? Every thought I had was completely unrelated with the next one. My mind was shifting gears, themes and thoughts like crazy. Was this really me when I wasn’t meditating? I was terrified of the feeling that I wasn’t the person I wanted to be. And I kept on meditating every single day, at least for 10 minutes. I was calming my thoughts and slowly started to get my thought pattern in order.
After months I was able to partially control my own thoughts. At least I was aware of the thoughts I have and slowly started to re-brand myself and become the person I want to become.
Self-awareness is crucial when it comes to discipline, because you start to have an idea what kind of person you are and where is your aim for the future. Without knowing yourself and being able to get behind the wheel of your brain, you simply can’t stay disciplined.
Whenever you get angry, nervous or anxious, just breathe and really try to navigate yourself. What comes in your mind, why do you think the way you think, what or who hurt you. In moments of anxiety and anger you will start to have shorter breaths which signals your brain to start that alarming phase of stress. Just by taking deep breaths and focusing on your breath instead of the crazy show in your mind, you will immediately feel calmer. After a minute you will take full control and neutralize those stressful emotions.
Self-awareness is a must if we want to push ourselves forward and to do that we need discipline. But discipline doesn’t go without…
2. Vision or AIM
Once you start to be self-aware of your state and what kind of person you truly are, you need to have AIM because if you don’t know where you are going, you will probably get there.
It’s like going to get the bag from your room and halfway there you forget why you where going to the room. You get back, sit on the couch and “THE BAG!” you were going to get the bag.
Discipline works perfect when you know why you are doing what you are doing. When you have a goal and plan, discipline becomes easier to attain. You can be disciplined without a vision, but what’s the point really? And discipline without vision will probably get cracked and eventually stop.
What helped me was sitting at home with a pen and paper. Really, just sit there and think: why do I do what I do? Like I prefer to hang out with friends more than sit at home and work. Why do I do that? OR I want to have a lot of money. Why do I want to? And suddenly after all these answers, which are really, again, awareness of self, will penetrate something that will shock you: most of the things you do are just because you are trying to be better in the eyes of someone else. For example, if you want to be rich, you truly chase that because your girlfriend dumped you and you want to show it to her face that you are better human being. Like you can even start to play the guitar and be famous, but the truth is that you play only because you want to be famous so more people can be around you because you are lonely person.
These were just examples. You can even play the guitar because you father played the guitar and he was your hero. That’s an amazing reason to start playing the guitar, but for most of the things we do (at least for me) I did them because I wanted to be better human being not because of myself, but because of other people around me, which I honestly didn’t even like in the first place.
Doing this exercise really opened my eyes to another dimension. I started to realize that my standards and priorities were all mixed up. I would rather go out and have some fun getting wasted every day, than sit at home and create a business that I truly love.
It kind of opened my eyes to the things I want to attain. It gave me a vision, an aim to chase and find ways to make it happen.
Honestly one of the reasons I started this channel is because I was truly facing hardship on my own. My mother passed away (divorced from my father) and I was left alone to make a person out of myself when I was 18 years old. And I truly had rough time struggling every single day. I was a spoiled kid, but when that happened my stepfather did something terrible (which was really the best thing looking back at it now) he told me, either you will create an incredible person out of yourself, or you are going to end up a chump like all the friends around you. And the he told me “no more money for you kid.” I felt like the whole world came crushing down on me. After trial and error, I can proudly say that I am far better person than I was and I still work every day to become better.
I will share my journey and hopefully help some of you guys that are really struggling. I will be here with you in those moments when everything looks like it’s going wrong and give you part of my digital energy to make you feel better and move on on your journey with discipline and vision.
I hope this article hit some of you guys right in the chest and you are now a few atoms better than you were before. All I am asking in return is for you to subscribe on my YouTube channel so together we can help the channel spread so more people get a helping hand when they need it most.
Also, make sure to watch this video of me taking a stone cold shower next!