Emotional Health Science & Psychology

Psychologists Reveal How To Remain Calm During Any Argument Or Conflict

Learning how to remain calm during any argument can be easily said than done, but practice makes it perfect.

Emotional intelligence can help you handle your emotions while the lack of emotional intelligence can make you easily irritated, eruptive and unable to be calm during heated arguments.

Let’s face it: we cannot avoid conflict. Whether it’s one with our wife, husbands, kids, friends or coworkers, conflict cannot be avoided. However, being calm during conflict or argument can be controlled. How we react to those situations will determine the emotional state we’ll be in.

At the exact moment when you notice that you’re being part of an argument, here are steps that you can take to stay calm and be in control of the situation:

How To Remain Calm During Any Argument Or Conflict:

1. Remain Calm During Any Argument By Taking Deep Breaths

How To Remain Calm During Any Argument Or Conflict:

Shallow breathing is the body’s response to stress. To break this pattern, take a deep breath and take full control over the body. This will signal your brain that you are “not” in an argument which will give you full control over the situation. Your judgement is not clouded by stress, anger and short temper.

Inhale for 5 seconds and exhale for 7 seconds. This will keep you in control from saying things you may regret for the rest of your life.

2. Be Mindful About Your Body

How To Remain Calm During Any Argument Or Conflict:

Muscle stiffness is often triggered by stress. Stress can adversely affect your body’s nervous system — including your nerves — and how they function. Your nervous system may respond to stress by putting additional pressure on the blood vessels, which results in reduced blood flow to the muscles.

By focusing on your body, relaxing your shoulders and hands, you signal the brain that you have full control over the situation. In turn, this will make you calmer and make better judgement over the situation.

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3. Remain Calm During Any Argument By Actively Listening

Many conflicts or arguments arise because one person wasn’t heard or listened to before. This being said it’s impossible to diffuse an argument without listening.

Start to listen actively so you can make better judgement about the factual reason behind the argument or conflict.

4. Ask Open-ended Questions

How To Remain Calm During Any Argument Or Conflict:

A simple question can solve the entire conflict. Open-ended questions are invaluable. First, because that you actively listen, and second it means that you show interest that you’re trying to solve the argument.

The easiest way to avoid asking “yes or no” questions is not to use the words “do, don’t, did and didn’t” when asking a question. Instead, use the words “what, why, when and how.” The right questions can solve the argument in an instant.

5. Keep Your Voice Down

How To Remain Calm During Any Argument Or Conflict:

The moment you start an argument is the moment you raise your voice. On the flip side, this means that if you lower your voice down, you can easily avoid getting in the middle of a heated conflict or argument.

The point is to press down the anger of the other person. You can’t do this by raising your voice. However, you can instantly diffuse the initial anger by bringing both of your voices to a lower tone.

6. Agree To Disagree

Truth be told, some arguments cannot be solved with mutual benefit. You can avoid getting deep in the conflict by avoiding the whole conversation.

One of the law of interpersonal conflict is that it takes two participants. Disengaging from an argument is appropriate under one of two circumstances:

  1. the person becomes increasingly hostile, or
  2. the conversation, despite your best efforts, is not going anywhere

Unless you are in full control over your mind and body sometimes you will get angry in a conflict or argument. We are emotional beings, and we have triggers that can irritate us. However, by actively practicing these tips to stay calm during an argument, we can easily avoid things that we may regret for the rest of our lives.