It’s the determined mindset that rules the world of the successful people, but how can we attain the so-called “determined mindset”?
Determined mindset is structured from habits that are always harder to reach. Should I finish my task, or should I go out first? A lot of people decide to do the former, rather than the first.
It’s always, ALWAYS a struggle to reach the point of stability and self-confidence where it never occurs to us that we may fail in life. That point, my friends, is the top of the mountain, or the “determined mindset.”
To reach that point (at least verbally) we will expand the topic in 17 differences between successful and unsuccessful people.
1. CRITICIZE VS. COMPLIMENT
Criticizing is easily done, but it’s hard to give even a slight compliment. We often compliment the “weak ties” or not-so-close relatives, but we forget to complement our close ones.
Not only in friends and family, but in our workplace we have to embrace our colleagues too. You wouldn’t believe how many people want to be around you when you sincerely tell them that “they did a good job”, or “their dress is glamorous.” Try it. You will be amazed.
2. SENSE OF ENTITLEMENT VS. SENSE OF GRATITUDE
There are two sacks in our soul. One is ego and one is gratitude. The ego is really not a bad thing if we don’t feed it with each and everything. If you see that the ego is the “worth” of the person you will grasp that it’s really important thing. However, the ego is not for feeding, although it’s always hungry.
The other sac, where the gratitude is located, we need to feed it every day with each and everything we are thankful for. The man who lost his shoes was walking depressed barefoot until he saw a guy with no legs.
Appreciate what you have, always.
3. TAKE ALL THEIR CREDIT OF THEIR VICTORIES VS. GIVE OTHER PEOPLE CREDIT FOR THEIR VICTORIES
You see, one man cannot make a miracle. Whatever it is, however it may turn out, there will always be a group of people (or a chain reaction of people) that made enormous change. Even if we manage to do enormous thing by ourselves, we were triggered by our closed relatives (parents, friends, acquaintances, family etc ..). Even it could be a trigger by our last girlfriend that left us!
Successful people share their victories and give other people credit for their victories.
4. WATCH TV EVERYDAY VS. READ EVERY DAY
Reading itself expands our visualization, enriches our vocabulary and forms a way of virtually visualizing situations and images that no movie can. Not to mention that the news are always telling us things we don’t want to hear.
Don’t get me wrong. Watching TV is not forbidden, but reading shouldn’t be switched for TV. Successful people just don’t have time to do both.
5. TALK ABOUT PEOPLE VS. TALK ABOUT IDEAS
Talking about other people is the lowest level of conversation. It goes from the bottom (talking about people) to the middle (talking about events) and finally the top (talking about ideas.)
Strive to talk about ideas or at least events. Never discuss about people. That’s so low that you will be splashing in the pond instead of lurking in the ocean. Imagine that.
6. EXUDE ANGER VS. EXUDE JOY
To get to success, we cannot be exuding anger. It will never lead to a success.
Success is positive emotion and since positivity is a way of joy, we need to force that as an aura. We have to enjoy what we do to climb the mountain of success. No one on earth is successful by climbing the mountain angry. They just don’t attract each other.
Be joyful and wanted in your environment. You will be one step closer to your personal success.
7. HORDE INFORMATION AND DATA VS. SHARE INFORMATION AND DATA
When someone says “I shared” the information, it has to be analyzed before you get to the next level. We are able to say the same thing with different tone and body language and it will end up having completely different meaning.
For example “Give me the salt” with a smile and gratitude can be different if we say it with elevated voice and shaded eyes. Successful people share information and data precisely as they want to be understood.
8. FEAR CHANGE VS. EMBRACE CHANGE
It’s really dividable on people who are elastic to change and people who fear to make any step further. It’s like giving people a choice: either make the leap of faith (fear of the unknown) or stay comfy with your life you are living now. The choice we need to make is ours and ours only.
We all know the choice successful people make. That’s not quantum physics.
9. FLY BY THEIR SEAT OF THEIR PANTS VS. KEEP A “TO-DO/PROJECT” LISTS
The meaning fly by their seat of their pants means to “decide a course of action as you go along, using your own initiative and perceptions rather than a pre-determined plan or mechanical aids.”
The part where we use our initiative and perceptions to determine our course of actions is kind of better, but if keep that way without to-do lists and projects, we won’t make it far. That’s the style of a gambler. Not a style of successful person.
By some scientific research, we have 60.000 thoughts per day and 95% are from the previous day! That thing can’t be managed without to-do lists and taking notes.
10. HOLD A GRUDGE VS. FORGIVE OTHERS
Forgiving others saves enormous amount of time while holding grudges will take that precious time away.
People are not aware that one day they will be gone and how did they spend their time? Holding grudges? When we sincerely find the answer to these questions we will be forgiving everybody for everything.
Remember, forgive, but never forget.
11. BLAME OTHERS FOR THEIR FAILURES VS. ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY FOR THEIR FAILURES
Even though sometimes it’s really not our fault, we cannot blame people for their mistakes and failures, especially if we are head of that department (or the whole firm.) We are unity; we work as a team and fail as a team. If that person keeps doing mistakes you can always pick your own squad.
Successful people see things as a whole, not as a unit.
12. “SAY” THEY KEEP A JOURNAL VS. KEEP A JOURNAL
Journal is the most sacred thing a man can possess.
Not because you write down your secrets and not-so-ordinary thoughts, but because that’s the only time you express your emotions in the real world. They are now on a paper (or on your WordPress.) Journal is a must!
Talk to yourself in actions, rather than wandering and staying in your head.
13. SECRETLY HOPE OTHERS FAIL VS. WANT OTHERS TO SUCCEED
Even our close relatives (just make a little test) want to see us fail. It’s because of the challenge that lives in all of us since prehistoric times. Everybody wants to see you do good, but not better than them.
Of course this can be changed, but they don’t bother to see it like that.
People who don’t work hard will never lay success in their hands and people who work hard know how it feels like to work your way to success.
So the only people who want to see you fail are the ones who never try to do anything with their life and rather stay in the comfort zone forever.
Honestly, people who do better than us should be our personal motivation and a spark of inspiration. See them that way. You will heal yourself from your dirty secret.
14. DON’T KNOW WHAT THEY WANT TO BE VS. KEEP A “TO-BE” LISTS
One honest simple question can be entangling most of the world’s population. “WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE IN LIFE?”
People fear that they might become successful and never seem to start to think “what they want to be.” It’s really one simple question that is unknown to most.
On this question, I will suggest one exercise. Take a piece of paper, write the question down in the middle of the paper and connect arrows with everything you would like to be. Force yourself to think on it, deeply, even for 30 minutes, and finally start writing. It’s the first question you need to answer that will change your life, believe me.
After knowing what you would like to be (if you don’t know) you will know where you should be headed.
15. NEVER SET GOALS VS. SET GOALS AND DEVELOP LIFE PLANS
Successful people have goals. It’s no secret.
They write it on a paper (what they would like to achieve in 3, 6, 9, 12 months.) It’s bewildering how a thing can become reality if we put it on a piece of paper and read it every day twice (as soon as we wake up and before we go to sleep.) The idea is to surround ourselves with the personal goals.
Start your day with your personal prayer and end it with it. I will guarantee that your mind will unconsciously strive towards that thing.
16. THINK THEY KNOW IT ALL VS. CONTINUOUSLY LEARN
No one knows it all. If one” knows it all” the person will go nuts, and no one want’s to go nuts.
Instead, we need to face a direction, say, fitness trainer and continuously improve in that direction with work and practice.
Matthew McConaughey and Denzel Washington were not that entertaining the first time they acted in a movie. Thomas Edison didn’t invent the light-bulb from the first try.
Life is continuous learning.
17. OPERATE FROM A TRANSACTIONAL PERSPECTIVE VS. OPERATE FROM A TRANSFORMATIONAL PERSPECTIVE
People who will never respect you and see you only as a free pass in the future will always count you as “I owe you one” and “You owe me one.” No, forget that! Move away from those people, and if you find yourself in that possition change ASAP!
Successful people don’t count help on a paper. They help to see themselves growing, not to calculate and to put their pressure on their friends and business.
Moreover, everything is said here. You can find most of your surrounding described up here. If you want to change them, pass them this writing. I am sure they will thank you later.